Religion, like politics, is often a taboo subject. Yet personal religious or spiritual beliefs are important to many people. Those needing to learn more about another religion for work, class, or personal enrichment can easily engage in interfaith dialogue- conversations about faith from different religious perspectives.
A conversation with someone from a different faith background or religion can be both enlightening and scary. How do you share your beliefs without seeming preachy? How can you learn more about their beliefs without seeming stupid? With background information, "I" statements, and a genuine desire to connect, anyone can engage in interfaith dialogue and maybe just make a new friend in the process.
Common Misunderstandings In Talking About Religion
Many people who talk about religion make the following mistakes when trying to engage a believer of a different faith:
- Assuming that person of a different faith knows about the seeker's religion.
- Ignorance of the other person's faith, rituals, and other characteristics of the other religion.
- Trying to convert the person with a different faith.
- Talking, rather than listening.
- Asking questions based on stereotypes rather than facts.
- Inadvertently offending the other person by not prefacing, "I'm not quite sure how to ask this, but..."
Be sensitive to the above when engaging in interfaith dialogue. Treat the other person as you would like to be treated, and ask a question if you do not understand or sense you might have offended the other. "I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't mean to. Would you mind letting me what I've said that's offensive?" is a useful phrase to recover from any unintentional insults.
Stereotypes and Talking About Religion
Everyone has a faith background and impressions of other religions. It is easy to get caught up in stereotypes of another religion propagated by family background, society, and the media. To learn more about another person's faith, bust your stereotypes with facts. If you know a question is rooted in a stereotype, be honest in your ignorance. Apologize for possibly offending the other person, and ask if he or she is comfortable sharing.
For example, a Methodist may ask a Catholic to clarify a stereotype that the Methodist has about Catholics worshipping the Virgin Mary. The Methodist may ask, "I'm sorry if I offend you, but I have heard that Catholics worship Mary, not Jesus. What is your take on this?" The Catholic knows where the Methodist is coming from and has an opportunity to share his view on the subject if he desires.
Learn More About Other Religion for Interfaith Dialogue
Knowledge is key to a meaningful and enlightening conversation about faith with someone who holds different religious beliefs. Take some time to explore the religion of the person you'd like to dialogue with. Read or browse a general introduction to the religion, such as a Everything Guide or a World Religions text for basic beliefs. Suite101.com also offers informative sections on Islam, Hinduism, Catholicism, and other world religions for general interest.
Basic Questions to Ask About Another Faith
When you have a basic idea of the other religion, brainstorm some questions or comments, preferably practices or beliefs of the other religion that interest you. Use positive and inclusive language to respectfully seek the other's viewpoint. Examples may include:
- I know that [insert other religion] believes [insert doctrine or practice.] I find that interesting. What does [insert doctrine or practice] mean to your faith and worship?
- I saw a picture of [religious ritual, art, or practice]. Why, exactly does [seek clarification for unfamiliar symbols, clothes, and other reflections of the religion] mean?
- I've always wondered about [insert belief or practice from other religion]. Why is [insert belief or practice] important to your faith?
Feel free to share your own religious beliefs using "I" statements in the midst of the discussion. The person from the other religion can learn from you the same way you are learning from them.
Use "I" Statements When Talking About Faith
It is wise in any group outside your personal faith community to use "I" when sharing your religious beliefs. Assuming everyone shares your beliefs is deeply offensive. "We believe" and so on includes everyone present in your beliefs and forces them upon others.
In conversing with someone you know has a different faith than you, "I" statements are especially important. "I" statements can help you share what you believe and give the other person the space to share what she believes.
For example, a Christian woman meets another woman in yoga class who shares she's Wiccan. The Christian woman is dying to know what, exactly, Wiccans believe. The Christian begins sharing with a general statement, such as "I am Christian, and I'd love to learn more about wicca and what you believe, if you feel comfortable sharing." The Christian seeking to learn more about Wicca has not forced her faith upon the Wiccan, nor has she assumed anything about Wicca. She merely shared her faith and offered the Wiccan a chance to share hers.
Listening Key to Learning About a New Religion
A major reason people avoid talking about religion is that they fear others will not respect their beliefs. If talking about religion to someone with different beliefs, be certain to show respect. Do not bombard him with your beliefs, but ask a question and listen to the answer. Let the other person share and explain, as he is the expert on his own faith.
Consideration, compassion, and a willingness to learn about the other's beliefs are all key to successful talking about religion with those of different faiths. Watch stereotypes, use "I" statements, study the other religion, and listen to the other for successful interfaith dialogue that's meaningful for all involved.
For more in this series of engaging new religions and belief systems, Part 2: How to Learn About World Religions: Tips for Interfaith Dialogue may be of interest.
Melissa Roberts - A trained hospital chaplain, Melissa is a freelance writer, teacher, retreat leader, and spiritual director.
